Tuesday, August 31, 2010

cupcakes & vinegar

so things have been settling down, finally. i feel like my home is now my home officially and i want to start filling in the little odds and ends. so, i was doing some online shopping for my new home and i came across these treasures: a precious moments figurine for my curio cabinet & a pink poodle and his bitch for my bedroom. i was planning on getting the poodle image printed on canvas real large, you know like they do at costco now. what do you think, should i go ahead and do it....it's a little pricey, but i look at it as art that i will probably keep a lifetime.
which do you think I should get first?

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

lighting for my digs

i love saw blades and anything that grinds + chops flesh & bones with ease. so when i saw this antique chandelier i knew it would be perfect for my new home. i am going to start saving up for it.

what do you think, will it make my house a home?


i wish i was little bit taller,
i wish i was a baller
i wish i had a girl who looked good
i would call her
i wish i had a rabbit in a hat with a bat
and a '64 impala.....

dang y'all! i never understood
why the jocks get the fly girls
and me i get the hood rats
i tell 'em scat, skittle, skibobble
got hit with a bottle

i wish i had a brand-new car
so far, I got this hatchback
and everywhere i go, yo i gets laughed at
and when i'm in my cari'm laid back
i got an 8-track and a spare tire in the backseat
but that's flat
and do you really wanna know what's really wack, what?
see I can't even get a date
So, what do you think of that?
i heard that prom night is the bomb night

cause it's hard to survive
livin' in a concrete jungle and
these girls just keep passin' me by
she looks fly, she looks fly
makes me say my, my, my

i wish i was a little bit taller...
i wish i was a baller...
i wish i was a little bit taller y'all
i wish i was a baller

hey, I wish i had my way
'cause everyday would be a friday
you could even speed on the highway
i would play ghetto games
name my kids ghetto names
little mookie, big al, lorraine
yo you know that's on the real

I wish, I wish, I wish...

Monday, August 23, 2010

daddy dearest

it's a big day, readers. i found my birth father! supposedly he can sing pretty songs, is an eternal student of magik the gathering & my father. daddy loves icp, transformers, mooching rides, safety pins for closures & sketcher shoes- just like me. i hear he even tried to kill his family with a spatula and is now referred to as marc mirda on the mean streets of new england. badass. that must be where i get my human dismembering tendencies from. i even heard he spent years cultivating his senses by sniffing shoes & dirty feet at the mall. we are obvious doppelgangers externally, but it appears as we are also similar on so many deeper levels. father & son. i will be flying out to west warhick rhode island to meet him very soon. i want to surprise him with pancakes in bed.

i hope he tells me she is my mother.
do you think we share a resemblance?

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

everybody loves a winner

congratulations to the winner of my first blog giveaway ever! the lucky winner is eva- she won bff mr. toad & and our special bff heart charm. i cried as i read eva's bonus submission. a few of those tears were for the obvious loss of my bff, mr. toad to a faraway land, but most of the tears were of happiness for the new life he will live with eva. read her touching dipsomaniac entry below.
Things that mr. Toad will experience with me after I win him: He will be my accomplice in making excuses for having drinks, and will also help decide what sort of drink(s) is the best for the type of weather/job/problem/thing to celebrate/time of day/company/whatever. He will help turning every day life into a party and enjoy staying up late dressing up, having drinks and crafting stuff. We will burn incense, listen to music, and sometimes mr. toad will pose for pictures. I have a taxidermy mouse, a mannequin called Lilly and some other inanimate objects with their own persona's that I'm sure mr. Toad can relate to, so the fact that he's dead will not make him feel like a total freak. I guess it's not that extravagant, but it's the truth, and I think he'd enjoy it. I might expose him to actual life once and again....

but mostly I'll keep him wrapped up in a cozy fantasy world in order to make him feel safe and happy

make sure to check out eva's blog, it's pretty rad.

Friday, August 13, 2010

bad bunnies

bad bad bunny you make me feel so hungry

more on the topic of marinating cute furry animals

what's your favorite marination & seasoning?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

giveaway! bff mr. toad!

it's on peeps! i am having my first ever giveaway! i thought long and hard as to which one of my prized possessions to giveaway.....and after some deep pondering I have decided to parts ways with my best friend for life, mr. toad with a broken wing (via kittydirtvintage on etsy). best part is i am also giving away the bff pendant me and mr. toad share. when you get it, it gently snaps in the middle and you can wear one half of the heart and mr, toad the other. i had no hands to break it with so mr. toad just held on to it with his toad death grip. i will miss mr. toad, but what we share transcends the physical form in which we are embodied.
ways to enter:
1. become a follower of my blog
2. fan me on facebook
3. follow me on twitter
bonus: tell me a story about the adventures you and mr. toad will have together
****you can enter one way or all ways, but you must leave a comment telling me which way you have entered or your submission will not be counted. each submission must be a separate comment. contest ends tuesday august 17 and is open to us residents only. winner will be selected via random.org

good luck to you & mr. toad

Monday, August 9, 2010

what to giveaway

hi everyone! super exciting day here on the home front. i spent all day dragging my most prized possessions out of the hamper. why you ask? great question. i have decided to have my first ever giveaway! yes, it's true! decisions, decisions, what to give away? my cactus, the wilson necklace I got at a rave last week, my bff mr. toad with a broken wing, cow vertebrae (which i use as a pillow...so hipster i know), the jaw bone from a goat, my watch, one of my favorite books, my journal or the huge bullet I use as a chair (so hipster again, i know! if i had legs i'd probably wear skinny jeans. i know. i know. i am seeing a therapist about my self-esteem issues and hopefully one day i can talk them out instead wearing them out)

which do you want?

Sunday, August 8, 2010

i think i am in love. do you think she would like to come over to my place for some ritz crackers & fanta? and to think i won't have to make any more late night runs to the 7 eleven in search of a lighter to feed my new addiction.
via here for sale here

Saturday, August 7, 2010

home sweet home

so i have finally made it big! my success as an internet blogger has paid off! yesterday my peeps surprised me with precariously large gift! i was left to guess for a good 15 minutes as to what was hidden beneath the seasonal pony wrapping paper....turns out it was a fly new crib! for me?! from years in a closet to hamper in just a few short weeks? if i can do it anyone can! tonight, i am going to have to go on chatroulette to invite some guests to my house warming party. first i will need to go to store to pick up some more ritz crackers and fanta though


me hamming it up for the camera before entering my new digs!

am i stylin in my new pad or what?

thanks for stopping by
don't let the door hit you on the way out
..i have some organizing to do!

Friday, August 6, 2010

don't break my heart-shaped glasses

you best not break my heart-shaped glasses with your ugly mug, foo.

closet organization

we could all take notes from my newest cyber friend. i wish my captors kept the closet i am forced to reside in this organized. it appeared this dude was digging my steaze. so i gussied myself up a little more & put on my heart shaped glasses hoping he would let me move into his closet. i think kitty doorstop foiled my plans by intruding into my web cam shot, i bet he thought i was cheating on him with kitty doorstop because he bounced shortly after.

do you like my fly shades?

Thursday, August 5, 2010

this little piggy had none

if i had toes or fingers i would call this kind lady to do my cuticles.

star struck

can you believe last night i met all 3 of my favorite, music, tv and movie personalities on chatroulette!? the biebs himself! Pauly D all the way from the shore! and elijah wood! how good was elijah wood in the good son?? off the chain right? i totally would have dropped macaulay culkin off the cliff too. but then again where would we be without macaulay in party monster?

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

bad wilson

yesterday i went on chatroulette to make new cyber friends and to show off my spicy pickled peppers. every time i showed them my peppers they showed me their medical marijuanas. though i was offended at first, my new cyber friends are a bad influence because at the end of the night, i inhaled.
i think i am addicted. do you roll dirty? can you hook me up?

Sunday, August 1, 2010

happy 2nd birthday, wilson

with the house to myself, ritz crackers & dip out I anxiously awaited my guests. it was nice being out of the closet for a full day. i am quite jealous of these peeps. anyways, chris hansen & I celebrated my 2nd birthday hoping my new online friends would stop by. they never came. we ended up watching strangeland instead. i find dee snider inspiring in that movie. i am thinking about making some new friends on chatroulette, soon.
what were you doing? why weren't you here? i am very angry with you